Day 14856

Sunday - The day of the dead. The churches. The quiet. Loneliness and the never ending thoughts of the past, crawling up to my head. Don't know what to expect from the rest of this life.

Thoughts of the irreversible past kept chasing me throughout nights... and days...
Thoughts of my relationSHIP, that sank. The one with the "love of my life" on board. The love, that I lost - like Rose lost Jack in Titanic, except that there was no floating door to hold on to and I literally pushed him in the frozen sea...

It's been..
4,5 ys that I last saw him..
3 ys that he suggested it'll be the best for the both of us to move on
2,5 ys that he refused to meet up again.

Gosh... If I knew back then.. The last time we kissed would mean the last time forever, I would have chained you to my wrist!

Do you here me?

There has not been a day gone by, since you stopped talking to me, that I didn't deeply regret that we lost touch. Disconnection did not help me to move on. More of the opposite: I took the path in the one way street with a dump at the end. But maybe that's the appropriate punishment for my selfish behaviour. This is "Life vs (_)" in the end.